Don't be shocked:Y Thursday, August 31, 2006Y
12:23 AM
i'm so fortunate becos whoever created me gave me a gift. a gift that always gave me the strong power to stay so positive whenever i am being hit right in the face.the very nx day after my cry, i tot after a night of slp i will wake up fully energetic again. but i din. plus the monday blue @ work, everything is a disaster. i tot i gonna die any min cos i cant even rem to breathe of the overwhelming sadness i'm experiencing. i tot i cant survive that day. i wish i can drop dead. but i cant. monday was such a long day and all i wanted is to go home and hide in my blanket and sob. but when i got home, i guess i was too tired after the whole day and i jus pluck in my mp3 to my ears and slept off.
this round of sadness took me "3 nite slps" b4 i was kicking alive again. yes. this sadness realli impact me that much. but it is also partly becos of the dream i had on the 3rd nite.. the moment i woke up.. i was so happy and suddenli rem how much i yearn and should treasure all the freedom i had now.. i have no worries which make me felt empty the past weeks. but aren't they good news? yes.. i do feel empty, but i have all the time in the world, i can do ANYTHING i want.. go ANYWHERE i like...isnt' all these about life? there are fire burning in my heart pushing me to move on. live on. the usual me is back. thats me. the happy kicking alive jorine.
i had a dream now.. and i'm gonna share with all of you..in fact i had 2 dreams. 1st is to be a housewife and 2nd is to step out of spore and find a job abroad. and since now i have no bf, naturalli the dream is the 2nd 1. the passion of finding an overseas job had nv get any stronger then now. i have a dream i wan to fulfill. now when i wake up, i have a dream to chase. Do you have one?
its jus like sometime ago, i was discussing with shan about the skills or anything we are good @. both of us do not know the answer. i have got no skills, no capability, no things i'm good @. so i was finding myself quite useless for a period of time. but now, i have to goal to walk towards, no matter in the future, whether i can fulfill my dream, @ least i have a hope now. =) *grinz*