Don't be shocked:Y Saturday, August 12, 2006Y
2:14 AM
haven been bloggin lately since i was realli packed with work.. i spend my last weekend in classes.. and as usual they were a torture..the lecturer was from perth this time, and his classes were realli boring.. basicalli having to listen to lecture is a torture to me.. din realli had a nice national holiday since i went back to work for 6 hrs.. den its like working for half a day.. yesh.. der will be loads of OT $ but come on.. i'm dead beat.. =(
i will be staying home today maybe drop by the library to get some books.. *cross fingers* ... kinda getting abit sick of moi life.. no motivation in studying.. work is busy like hell which din realli motivate me much too.. i'm feeling the tiredness and sleepiness in office which i never had before.. this is bad premonition.. bad..
i have been thinking... wad made a woman with "substance"? for me.. i tink to be that woman.. it means yrs of experiece.. if u ask me if i think my mum is that woman...its a definiteli no no.. i tink she has more childish mind then me.. do guys like woman with "substance" mentally more? or physicalli more? haha.. if i'm a guy.. i will definiteli choose the mental 1.. why are ppl getting more n more superficious nowadays? i dun understand y too..
ok! i jus rem something i need to say.. ytd (fri).. i NEARLI WENT TO FRANKFURT, GERMANY!!! Oh my GOD!!!!! i realli nearli WENT THERE!!! i still cant believe i'm still here.. bloggin while lying in bed.. i should have already been in the air plane!! hitting germany.. damn damn damn it! what happen? ok.. we were given an opportunity to hand carry some goods to frankfurt.. and my exec went to ask ard... i was tempted @ first but i wasnt bravE enuff to say yeS.. but split seconds later.. i was telling myself.. why miss it? come on.. its germany! a place i never dreamt of going.. not even now.. and i quickly told moi exec i want to GO!!! and he went to convey this to the huge huge boss.. and we were getting gogo and gaga about it.. discussing about the weather.. wad i should do there.. how long is the flight.. telephone bills.. hows the hotel.. food.. everything! but *bang* the boss secretary walk over.. saying that the goods are TOO HEAVY FOR A GIRL TO CARRY!!!! *oucH* *OUCH* *OUCHHHHHHHH!!!!!* *piang* the nx min.. all moi excitement was flush into the toilet.. god.. i still cant believe this is real.. damn... hope the nx time... they need some1 to hand carry.. the goods are light! like the last time when adriano hand carry to korea.. damn damn damn!
i beginning to start a small novel now.. but its been long since i write right? so i told moiself i should write more.. haha..
i've been getting nightmares about him for quite a few times.. its not scary but somehow it haunt me.. the scenerio haunts me.. everything about him haunts me now.. is it becos i avoid thinking of us whenever i'm sane? and when i go to slp.. subconsiousli i'm thinking about us? wad the hack? everything should had end.. n nothing will happen btw us again.. not now.. not in the near future.. never.. say i'm cruel.. curse me for being cold blooded.. but wad need to come to the end.. will need to have a fullstop.
1/2 a yr has pass.. i'm still lying alone.. in this cold bed.. who will be there to warmth my heart? touch my heart? i'm getting more afraid.. afraid of not able to fall in love.. i've been thinking.. me n him isnt'love right? becos if its love.. i ll not leave him.. thats y.. i nv fall in love b4.. can u tell me wad it feels like? i'm envious of those.. who can feel love.. be love.. giving love.. becos i cant.. maybe its not i cant.. its jus i nv met any1 b4.. to share moi love.. give moi love to him.. i believe that when i met that someone he will bring rainbow to moi grey life.. even doing nothing @ all.. jus being beside him.. i ll feel happi.. but when will this day come? tell me..