Don't be shocked:Y Wednesday, May 10, 2006Y
3:33 PM
Confuse…distraught.. traumatize…Not a good week.. I have been packed with work (as usual)… sometimes I wonder.. maybe I’m slow.. (maybe my hand is too heavy) so everything seems to be so slow.. I have a little crystal tortoise on my office keyboard.. I purposely put it there ..believe me.. the tortoise is there for a purpose..
I was thinking today.. why do I work so hard.. do any1 realli appreciate? I cant see where I’m heading.. and I’m not sure where I will be headed.. god.. am I tinking too much? Work work work… I’m not complaining about the workload… (although I was always grumbling about having too much work..) but is the appreciation ppl shows.. ok.. u can say the comp pay me salary and thats the appreciation.. i'm also not sure what the hell i wan.. it jus hit me.. my path is so misty ahead..
and i did alot of thinking today.. (though i'm busy working.. i not onli tink of work).. someting is worrying me.. moi exams are coming.. me n min were flipping thru' our calendar.. and we were like.. WTF.. no date for us to take any leave??!! a moment of truth.. moi fighting spirit is decreasing day by day which i'm not like this the last time.. i always write in places.. saying the brave jorine is here.. but somehow my motivation level is ZERO!! (when i in poly.. i realli noe how to sai ko moiself to study... sai ko moiself no need slp.. trust moi again.. i realli can do it..) when motivation level go ZERO.. nothing can be done.. it hit me HARD again today.. why am i putting so much concentration and effort in work? what about moi studies? why ain't i putting that hard too? but the problem is.. i tink of work more often than moi studies.. even though i'm jus an ikan bili at work.. i take moi account with pride.. i work with pride. simply as that.. come to think of it.. why cant i do the same for moi studies too..
books books books.. jesus christ.. i'm exhausted.. bush..mentally and physicalli worn out soon... whose there to support moi? oh moi oh moi... tell me what i should do..
noe what i do these few days when to pacify moiself down? i stuck moi mp3 into moi ears.. it realli helps.. i jus bury moiself in the music.. it block out moi thoughts.. i jus flow with the music.. i haven been moiself these few days..
moi cous told moi that she read moi blog.. and thinks that its a weak person writings.. i tink i can onli get weak in writing.. who realli noes what i'm thinking? sometimes i dun even noe..
i tink the person i realli tok heart to heart with is moi shan shan aka moi gf.. *laughs*.. n of cos.. moi cous.. and chris too.. *wicked laughs*
especialli moi cous.. thanks for always being there when i need u.. thanks for listening to moi complains.. thanks for ur helping hand..
actualli i need to thanks all moi colleagues who have help moi in a way or other.. ~.~
aNd also.. jus to tell u guys.. i usualli get well after a sleep.. moi get well is realli GET WELL as in the energy n hypertectic level goes to 200%! so no worries for moi..
i still have loads of moi own secrets.. n other ppl secrets as well.. but of cos.. as stated in moi
blog.. this blog.. NO secrets will be posted.. it will stay in moi memories data.. so secrets are safe w moi..aJa aJa fiGhting.. fighting spirt *hIokz*
loviEz jOrine